Stood up or genuine reason?

I am sat here laptop on in my slob clothes, chocolate, crisps and sweets to hand, yes you guessed it – I’ve been stood up and I am drowning my sorrows with the unhealthiest food I can find in the house. Ok, I admit, it’s only because it’s 2pm that this is not infact the nearest alcoholic beverage I can find! If you haven’t tried Drumstick Squashies yet, please do – delish!!

I recently went on a girls mini break for the weekend abroad and there I met a young guy named ‘Pablo’ (I have used a totally made up name here, I have heard to avoid Pablo’s like the plague!), 27, employed, has all his teeth, friendly, fun, chatty and also knows some of my friends partners – all good so far right? A bit of drunken dancing later, a small cheeky kiss and some shots shared, we exchanged numbers and started talking daily, eventually agreeing to a date when both back on UK soil.

Said date was today, a meet in a local shopping centre with no set plan, just a nice casual stroll around the shops to see how we got on. I was, as I’m sure we all are on a first date, nervous but excited. Pablo seemed just what I needed after my snoreathon ex, extremely chatty and lots of fun but still looking for a relationship. I wake up to a text off a friend “Hi girls, thinking of going to the shopping centre about 1pm and having some tea there, does anyone fancy it?” – yes the same shopping centre I was planning on going to around the same time, naturally I said thank you but no thank you and explained I had a date so I may see my friends in there. I continued about my morning as per normal and responded to the last text I had off Pablo (I fell asleep last night in typical fashion), 2 hours later no text…he’s likely still in bed, DO NOT panic. Another hour passes, as does another and before I know it, it’s 1pm. Do I text him or accept I may have been pied? I’m a woman of course I text! A simple “?” – clearly I am a psycho, apologies.

A response came fairly quickly “Miss impatient!! Ha. Only been up about an hour, needed that lie in! What you up to? Got about 4 texts off my Dad saying he wants to go out this afternoon so our date is gunna have to get put on hold *sad face* won’t see him again now for another month or so, so gunna get over n see him..what u doing tomorra?? How was your sleep? xx”. Initial psycho woman reaction – P*SS OFF!!!! Normal after a few minutes woman reaction – oh that is a fair reason and he did explain he was seeing his Dad in the evening, fair enough. Despite my initial annoyed-ness especially since I now have zero plans as I said no to seeing my friends, he has continued to apologise profusely with the usual I feel soooo bad lines so I, the positive kind person I believe I am, will give him the benefit of the doubt and see what materializes. I will however not be so readily available for him and have told him “I’m not sure when I am free, I will let you know”.

So I bid him a good day with his Dad and to not worry and me, well, onto the next one…*Searches all male phone numbers in phone book*

Happy dating!

INTERNET DATING…!!???!

In a world were meeting via the internet is now considered the “norm”, with shows like ‘Catfish’ in which people have internet based relationships only, yes this means they never meet incase you haven’t seen the show. Do you think this is weird or would you give it a go?

I have been newly single for nearly 3 months now, previous to that I dated casually for a few months here and there, none ever going further than the 3 -4 month mark along with a year ish long distance relationship thrown in for good measure, add in the usual smatterings of a first young love relationship, university flings and an occasional travel romance, and hey presto, I’m here and writing a blog to try and make sense of where my next relationship fits in!

Since my first paragraph noted the serious rise in internet relationships, I’m going to admit my experience of signing up to a dating site, albeit fairly brief. The dating industry is said to have a global worth of nearly £2 billion, with 1 in 5 relationships starting online – yes I was surprised at this statistic too, it’s safe to say meeting someone over the internet is not such a taboo these days, or is it?

I own an account on all the usual social media time suckers; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (no, I’m not giving them away for you to figure out who I am!) and I regularly meet new people on all these platforms, a good old flirt later and some of these casual ‘add’s’ or ‘follows’ have resulted in a date or 2, that’s a story for another time, so if this is so socially acceptable now, why are *some* people still so wary of dating sites such as match.com, plentyoffish.com, zoosk.com, to name but a few?

Signing up to a dating site is so quick and easy with most having apps to download I found myself downloading the POF app to my snazzy techy phone and within 5 minutes I had my very own POF profile. A few friends had done it so what harm was there in me giving it a go also? Pictures uploaded, questions answered; what’s your personality type, are you looking for casual dating or long term love, do you smoke, take drugs, your height, eye colour, interests, hobbies, you name it, the site wants to know it! Not to sound like I am blowing one’s own trumpet, but within the space of a mere few hours my inbox was flooded with messages, I am talking in the 100’s. Hello massive ego boost!

The fun starts here, getting through these messages and responding I soon realised was going to be some task. I didn’t merely want to read and dismiss based upon the message alone, some took real time and effort writing major essays, some were copied and pasted, some a simple “hi u ok” – yes these were deleted straight away, there is never a need for text speak! Off I went, open message, read message, view profile, read, skim the pictures, delete or reply (I did try to respond with a polite thanks but no thanks but 99% of the time they took this the wrong way). I literally found myself sucked in for a whole evening doing this, and at the time I didn’t note how much of a drain on actual real life this was. I continued this process almost every evening for a good week or 2, even sometimes getting in the casual sneak during work hours (sorry boss!). Some conversations turned to a number swap, some a Facebook add, Twitter follow and some even discussions of a date. However throughout all this I had serious reservations in the back of my mind, what do I say when someone asks “so, how did you 2 meet?” and I really couldn’t shake that feeling I had. Does this make me shallow and too concerned with others opinions or am I just not ready for the world of internet dating?

I choose the latter, I prefer real life one on one, likely meeting scenarios; in the supermarket, taking a walk, on a night out with friends, I am much more comfortable and relaxed meeting a potential date this way, but that’s not to say internet dating isn’t for you, so if you are considering it, definitely give it a go, it’s free, fun and if nothing comes of it it’s a massive confidence boost when confidence may be at a slight low.

A few kind experienced words of warning; watch out for the naked penis profiles, yes these people really do exist and are purely looking for sex (which hey, if that’s your thing, you’re in for a treat!). Dont get too wrapped up in spending too much time on these sites, remember there is a real world out there too and finally, if you get a message off “Jazzy B” with a rap he claims to be his own, it’s not and get using the delete and block buttons pronto, you’ll thank me later!!

Good luck dating!