DITCHED!!

First, I must apologise for the lack of blogging since my last post, this is pure and simply because my dating life has gone succinctly quiet of late. Not to worry, there’s no rushing these things, they come at the right time and there is no need to PANIC i.e. settle for the next man who shows a tiny bit of interest even if he only has 5 teeth and dirty fingernails!

Whilst my dating scene is on a bit of a ‘spring break’ I have decided to think over some old dates I have had, focusing on the one’s that were so bad I can now laugh about them.

Picking 1 of these bad dates to focus on is proving a difficult task as there are a number I could tell you about, I think 1 just pips the others though so here goes…

Fortunately I seem to have aged well so far and I am often asked for ID on nights out, purchasing alcohol, lottery tickets (yes, really) and the such like, this in turn means I seem to attract younger men. I’m not saying age is such a factor that if a male is younger than me I won’t date them, but all of my experiences of younger men so far have been enough to encourage me to put a ban on myself for dating any male under the age of 25. Sorry boys 😉

Roll up 22 year old Ryan, local guy, very good looking, dresses a tad young, seems to have a sense of humour, all good so far, right? We meet in a local pub with a group of our mutual friends, have a few polite words and then we both continue on our night. I awake the morning after to a ‘Facebook Friend Request’, accept and here starts some light flirting via inbox messaging, 10 or so messages later and we swap numbers. We speak for a few days and arrange a date that weekend; a local tapas bar for a meal and then see where the evening takes us. Delightful, this tapas bar is to die for and my favourite restaurant, very very good start.

We have what I would call a ‘nice enough’ evening, the food delicious, conversation is flowing for the most part but there are no sparks there and I sense our lives are on very different paths. We pay up, leave and decide to go to the same local pub from the week before. Que a group of Ryan’s friend already being in the pub, convenient hmmm, I am introduced and have a few short conversations with a few friends, all polite and friendly. Whilst chatting to his friends Ryan disappears outside and I end up stood alone as they all peter off. Cringe. I spot a friend (male) and he comes over and talks to me, asking why I am stood alone, I try to brush it off as causally as possible but the situation is becoming slightly uncomfortable and I want to leave. I text some friends who had been to a local shopping centre and ask them to pop by on their way home, total panic over slightly.

After chatting to my friend for around 15 minutes Ryan reappears and informs me he is leaving to go to a party, do I want to come? No I bloody well do not Ryan, we are on a date, me and you, on a date together, us, that’s me and you on a date and you are going to LEAVE me here ALONE to go to an 18th birthday party – yep I think we can safely say I never saw him again and that was that. Thank the lord for my wonderful friends who did come to save me and took me home or I would have had to make my way home, ALONE.

This date should have put me off dating younger men but they kept on coming and I didn’t learn my lesson each and every time. Next came the guy who turned up with no money at all for the evening, the guy who I had to pick up because he hadn’t yet passed his test, the guy who wanted to go colour with crayons, no I’m just kidding, that is too far for even me, the young boy attracter!

Lessons have been learnt and I am immensely grateful for each every date I have had, good or bad, they are all experience in dating and provide memories to last, here’s to the next…

INTERNET DATING…!!???!

In a world were meeting via the internet is now considered the “norm”, with shows like ‘Catfish’ in which people have internet based relationships only, yes this means they never meet incase you haven’t seen the show. Do you think this is weird or would you give it a go?

I have been newly single for nearly 3 months now, previous to that I dated casually for a few months here and there, none ever going further than the 3 -4 month mark along with a year ish long distance relationship thrown in for good measure, add in the usual smatterings of a first young love relationship, university flings and an occasional travel romance, and hey presto, I’m here and writing a blog to try and make sense of where my next relationship fits in!

Since my first paragraph noted the serious rise in internet relationships, I’m going to admit my experience of signing up to a dating site, albeit fairly brief. The dating industry is said to have a global worth of nearly £2 billion, with 1 in 5 relationships starting online – yes I was surprised at this statistic too, it’s safe to say meeting someone over the internet is not such a taboo these days, or is it?

I own an account on all the usual social media time suckers; Facebook, Twitter, Instagram (no, I’m not giving them away for you to figure out who I am!) and I regularly meet new people on all these platforms, a good old flirt later and some of these casual ‘add’s’ or ‘follows’ have resulted in a date or 2, that’s a story for another time, so if this is so socially acceptable now, why are *some* people still so wary of dating sites such as match.com, plentyoffish.com, zoosk.com, to name but a few?

Signing up to a dating site is so quick and easy with most having apps to download I found myself downloading the POF app to my snazzy techy phone and within 5 minutes I had my very own POF profile. A few friends had done it so what harm was there in me giving it a go also? Pictures uploaded, questions answered; what’s your personality type, are you looking for casual dating or long term love, do you smoke, take drugs, your height, eye colour, interests, hobbies, you name it, the site wants to know it! Not to sound like I am blowing one’s own trumpet, but within the space of a mere few hours my inbox was flooded with messages, I am talking in the 100’s. Hello massive ego boost!

The fun starts here, getting through these messages and responding I soon realised was going to be some task. I didn’t merely want to read and dismiss based upon the message alone, some took real time and effort writing major essays, some were copied and pasted, some a simple “hi u ok” – yes these were deleted straight away, there is never a need for text speak! Off I went, open message, read message, view profile, read, skim the pictures, delete or reply (I did try to respond with a polite thanks but no thanks but 99% of the time they took this the wrong way). I literally found myself sucked in for a whole evening doing this, and at the time I didn’t note how much of a drain on actual real life this was. I continued this process almost every evening for a good week or 2, even sometimes getting in the casual sneak during work hours (sorry boss!). Some conversations turned to a number swap, some a Facebook add, Twitter follow and some even discussions of a date. However throughout all this I had serious reservations in the back of my mind, what do I say when someone asks “so, how did you 2 meet?” and I really couldn’t shake that feeling I had. Does this make me shallow and too concerned with others opinions or am I just not ready for the world of internet dating?

I choose the latter, I prefer real life one on one, likely meeting scenarios; in the supermarket, taking a walk, on a night out with friends, I am much more comfortable and relaxed meeting a potential date this way, but that’s not to say internet dating isn’t for you, so if you are considering it, definitely give it a go, it’s free, fun and if nothing comes of it it’s a massive confidence boost when confidence may be at a slight low.

A few kind experienced words of warning; watch out for the naked penis profiles, yes these people really do exist and are purely looking for sex (which hey, if that’s your thing, you’re in for a treat!). Dont get too wrapped up in spending too much time on these sites, remember there is a real world out there too and finally, if you get a message off “Jazzy B” with a rap he claims to be his own, it’s not and get using the delete and block buttons pronto, you’ll thank me later!!

Good luck dating!